A Dual Perspective.

“Writing is an exploration. You start from nothing and learn as you go.”
~E.L. Doctorow

Last Sunday, I sat down and outlined the final thirteen chapters of this book. It took a good hour – I tend to be looser with my planning at the beginning of the novel and more meticulous toward the end – and even still, even after combing through my writing journal for ideas not yet folded into the story, even after switching scenes around to make them all fit, even after actually closing my eyes and imagining the final chapter, the fact that I’m nearly finished the first draft feels completely surreal. In some ways, it seems like I just began this journey with Remi and Charlotte. In others, it seems like I’ve known them forever. In actuality, it’s been about two and a half months, with another one and a half to go. I can see them inching ever closer to Point B, and when I think back to Point A, to how much they’ve already grown, I’m super proud of them and super excited for them. I’m also super excited for this book. There’s just something about it that I can’t put into words. Writing it makes me feel like I’m flying. Does that sound totally corny? Probably, but that’s okay.

I must admit, though: this manuscript has been a surprise in many ways. It’s evolved so much from how I first envisioned it, and I think that’s mostly due to the format. This is the first time I’ve ever written an entire book from dual perspectives. I’m alternating between Remi’s chapters and Charlotte’s, weaving their individual stories in parallels and perpendiculars to create a tale that’s uniquely theirs together. Going into this, I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about having two main characters. Would I connect with them both equally? Suppose I liked one more than the other? Would it be easier to write one’s story than the other? With twenty-four chapters down and eleven to go, I can answer those questions now. Although Remi and Charlotte are most definitely their own people, I do feel connected with them both. I feel like each has a place in my heart. Charlotte’s chapters are more challenging to write – setting them in 1957 means I’m constantly researching as I go along – but that doesn’t make them any less enjoyable. I’m never sad to stop writing one character’s scenes because it means I get to leap back into the other’s. I’ve found that keeping a day in between really helps me segue from one voice to the other. Mondays and Tuesdays are devoted to Remi, Wednesdays are for querying Mine to Love, and Thursdays and Fridays are dedicated to Charlotte. So far, the system has been working out beautifully.

The only thing? Dividing the book between past and present, between Atlantic City and Nantucket, between Charlotte and Remi, means that I only get half the space for each. For someone who already has a problem reining in her word count during first drafts, this has been quite … interesting. If you told me a couple years ago that I would essentially have to tell each story in seventeen chapters, I’d have laughed. Loudly. For a very long time. But honestly, there was never a question in my mind that this is how the book needs to be written. Sure, it could all be from Remi’s perspective and there could simply be flashbacks to Charlotte’s life, memories told by her through conversations and letters, but it would’ve been all wrong that way. Because this novel isn’t only about Remi. It isn’t only about Charlotte. It’s also about who they become to one another. That’s meant being really strict with which scenes I write. It’s meant scrapping some ideas in favor of others. It’s meant some very careful planning, especially now, as I work towards finishing this draft, because it is not easy to cover nine months of two different people’s lives without soaring way above the word count guidelines. Yes, this draft will be too big. It’ll need to be whittled down. But … but … factoring in the fact that my chapters tend to be longer toward the end, I’m still looking at an initial word count of under 130,000 … perhaps even closer to 125,000. For a book like this – and for a writer who had to delete 50,000 words from her last manuscript and even more in the previous one – I’m counting it as a win.

No matter what happens with this in the future, I’m counting this whole manuscript as a win. It’s made me fall in love with writing all over again. It’s reminded me of the joy storytelling can be. It’s gotten me thinking about my characters during all times of the day and night. It’s turned my journal into a springboard of ideas frantically jotted down, my hands trying to keep up with my head. It’s taught me about my characters, about myself as a writer, and about so many things I’d never have heard about otherwise (side note: anyone know what a Pluto Platter is? No Googling!). Most of all, it’s helped me to further believe, and hope, and dream.

When I first envisioned this book, I thought Charlotte’s half would cover her life from 1957 straight through to the present. Ha. Hahahahaha. On what planet did that ever seem like a feasible thing? It would’ve been encyclopedic in length. At first I was bummed about having to rework things so majorly, but now I can’t even imagine it as originally brainstormed. Once I jumped into writing and let the characters start leading the story, they showed me exactly where they needed to go. I adore that. It’s one of my favorite parts about the process. So, to Remi and Charlotte: here’s to the next five weeks of this awesome journey. I can’t wait to see where you take me.

The Best of Us.

“It is what you read when you don’t have to that determines what you will be when you can’t help it.”
~Oscar Wilde

Know what I love? Book signings.

Really, what can better than gathering with an enthusiastic group of readers and celebrating the authors and stories that have brought us together? Everyone clutches a book in their hands or on their lap, fingers wrapped around a treasure trove of words, of stories, of inspiration, and then we get to hear from the person who made that very book come alive. It is sunshine for the writer’s soul.

Last night, I had the chance to attend an event with Sarah Pekkanen (who, if you’ve read my posts, you’ll know is one of my favorite authors), Jennifer Weiner, and Elizabeth LaBan. It was held in a lovely school, came complete with the most delicious (and huge!) cannolis, and featured a fabulous Q&A session. We heard from all three talented women – about their books, about their writing processes, about their journeys to publication, about their advice and anecdotes – and above all else, what struck me was the sense of unadulterated love for the craft of writing. Sarah, Jen, and Elizabeth exuded that love and so did everyone in the audience. My favorite comment of the evening came courtesy of Sarah, who talked about learning more through the writing than through the planning. I just … adore that. Yes, we can plan a novel. We can brainstorm, we can outline, we can research, we can plot timelines and turning points and milestones for our characters. And we should. We should know our stories like we know ourselves. But the real learning? The real journey? The real sense of who our characters are? How can we truly know that until we’re writing their tale? They have to tell us who they are. They have to show us. Sometimes – or, perhaps, often – that comes when we’re in the middle of a scene. One of the things I think is most special about writing is how the characters can surprise us. I’ve had people look at me strangely when I say that – “how can a character surprise you if you’re the one writing about them?” – but I honestly believe it’s true. Our characters lead the way. We’re there to help them along the path.

I had the chance to chat with Sarah for awhile afterwards, both about her awesome books (seriously, you guys … run, do not walk, to the nearest bookstore and buy a copy of all four of her novels … you won’t be able to put them down, they are that fantastic!) and about my publishing quest, and I will always be so thankful for her kind words and sincerity. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the writing community, from those who are already published to those who aspire to and work towards that goal every day, is like no other. It’s warm, it’s welcoming, it’s wonderful. Sarah didn’t have to spend so long talking to me, but she did. She didn’t have to ask me about my own books, but she did. She didn’t have to say such encouraging things, but she did. Words can’t express my gratitude. She is truly a class act, gracious and genuine all the way.

I left the event feeling so inspired. I couldn’t wait to sit down at my desk again this morning and continue writing (more about that in another post … I can’t even believe that I’m nearly two-thirds through this first draft!). That, to me, is what a book signing is all about. It takes the love, the joy, the pride we feel in writing and wraps them up in a neat package. Or maybe not. Maybe what it actually does is take those things and set them free into the world. And, again, I say: what can be better than that? Sarah’s new book is titled THE BEST OF US, and I think that’s a perfect way to sum up a book signing: it brings out the best in all of us.

Sunday Musings.

“Her dreams linger in the space between beginning and end.”
~Unknown

The lovely, insightful, super-talented Megan was kind enough to share the Very Inspiring Blogger Award with me. Thanks, chica — you’re the one who’s so inspiring! As per the instructions, I’m sharing seven facts about myself and tagging … well, instead of the requisite fifteen bloggers, I’ll just send this along to anyone who wants to participate. Each and every one of you is a starburst of inspiration for me!

1. I never used to have springtime allergies, but apparently that’s changed in recent years. The entire area (and, judging from the forecast prediction maps, a good portion of the country) is blanketed in a powdery yellow film, and my sinuses are not happy. Go away, pollen, so I can be outside for more than five minutes without getting a pulsing headache and dry, itchy eyes.

2. No exaggeration, I’m the lightest sleeper ever. I was awake for nearly three hours last night (this morning?) because of the incessantly chirping birds. Eventually I gave up on blocking them out and dove back into Sarah Pekkanen’s THE BEST OF US instead. Nothing like a great book to shut out the noise.

3. I didn’t get my driver’s license until a few weeks before my eighteenth birthday – and even then, it was only because I needed it to commute to college. My mom and I were in a pretty bad car accident when I was fifteen (we were stopped for a red light when a car came flying over the hill at 65mph, slammed into us and sent us into a traffic light pole, and then drove off half on the sidewalk), and it totally turned me off to driving. I’ve long since gotten over that, but to this day, I’m still one of the most cautious drivers you’ll ever meet.

4. One of the coolest experiences I’ve ever had was working at the 6ABC Thanksgiving Day parade. I got to escort the Disney World float and then watch the rest of the parade from the press area. It was completely surreal to be part of the celebration I’d watched on television every year since childhood, and as an added (awesome!) bonus, I also had the chance to meet Kelly Monaco, who was a special co-host that year.

5. When I was little, I wanted to be a veterinarian or meteorologist. My passions obviously changed over time, but I’m still fascinated by the weather and would love to take a course in meteorology someday.

6. The written component of my college senior thesis had to be twenty – thirty pages. Mine was fifty-nine. At least I’m consistent with my tendency to write a lot?

7. I used to want a Southern accent. Now I live vicariously through my characters who are Southern, dropping in a “y’all” and a “bless your heart” into the pages of my manuscripts. And yes, I may occasionally use those phrases in real life, too. Gets me some interesting looks up here in Pennsylvania. Ha.

Your turn — share a random fact about yourself!

Tuesday’s Tunes: There Will Be An Answer.

“And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me
Shine until tomorrow, let it be.”
~Brooke White singing the Beatles’ “Let It Be”

Last week was … honestly, I don’t think any single word can do justice to it. Heartbreaking. Terrifying. Horrifying. Shocking. Numbing. To say that the city of Boston and everyone affected by the heartache is in our collective thoughts and prayers is an understatement. And yet, amidst all the tragedy, we also saw inspiration – in the first responders, in the police departments, in all the people who rushed to help, in all the heroes. They deserve our endless gratitude and appreciation. Again, no single word can do them justice. Brave. Selfless. Dedicated. Compassionate. Uplifting. Perhaps their heroism is best reflected in song. Perhaps that’s where we find the words, the melody, the chords of optimism. Perhaps it’s idealistic to continue hoping for a peaceful world, a world where community and love win, but I truly believe that’s the answer.

Brooke White – “Let It Be”:

Teresa Castillo and Jason Thompson – “You’re Not Alone”:

Kelly Clarkson – “The Sun Will Rise”:

Let’s keep reaching out. Let’s keep joining together so nobody is alone and everybody sees that the sun can indeed rise. Let’s … let it be.

Brave New World.

“You don’t write because you want to say something, you write because you’ve got something to say.”
~F. Scott Fitzgerald

I still remember my first “book.” It came about as a direct result of my eighth grade English class. Every day, Mrs. Schuster had us spend the first ten minutes working on a journal entry. For Monday through Thursday, it was an assigned topic – sometimes a question, sometimes a prompt, sometimes related to a novel we were reading and sometimes not. Fridays, though, they were my favorites. They were free writes. What began as a journal entry soon blossomed into a story about Jamie and Melanie, twins who were in eighth grade (shocker, yes?) and, if I recall correctly, spent half the time deciding what clothes to wear. Ha. The tale spanned several chapters and ignited a fire in me. Those flickering flames, the joy for writing they sparked, have continued to blaze brighter and brighter. Yes, the journey to get published has been frustrating. Yes, it’s made me feel like throwing in the towel on more than one occasion. Yes, it’s felt like forever. But despite that, the fire is still there. Because of it, the fire is stronger than ever. And so, when my sixteen-year-old cousin (I swear, she was just born … where on earth does the time go?) asked me to read the book she’s been working on for the past few years, I agreed immediately. I wanted to share her passion for the story and for her characters. Now that I’ve finished reading, and she’s asked me some questions on the publishing process, I find myself thinking – if I could give her any advice, what would it be? What would I tell someone whose love for writing is still so fresh and pure?

1. Write the stories that keep you up at night.

2. If you think you can – even when you think you can’t – there’s no limit to all you’ll achieve.

3. First and foremost, write for yourself. Listen to the voice in your head, but listen to the one in your heart, too. Write because you have to, write because you want to, write because you can’t not write.

4. There will be days when the words don’t come as easily. That’s okay. Sometimes there’s a beauty in the block, because it takes you down a road you never would have seen otherwise.

5. Never lose the sense of wonder. That bittersweet excitement you felt when finishing your first book? You’ll feel it time and again, with each “THE END.”

6. Don’t be afraid to take chances. Sometimes the story you’re nervous about writing is the story you need to tell.

7. Write what you know, but also write what you don’t know. It’ll help you grow in ways you can’t imagine.

8. Each character will leave a handprint on your heart. Each book will become your baby. Each story will teach you something and offer a glimpse into a brave new world.

9. Be proud of your work. It’s a part of you, a part of your heart, and no matter what, nobody can ever take that away.

10. Never give up. Never, ever give up. When you find something that sets your soul on fire, it’s worth waiting for, it’s worth fighting for, it’s worth putting yourself on the line for … always.

How about y’all? What advice would you give to someone who wants to follow in your career footsteps?

The Power of Storytelling.

“Great stories happen to those who can tell them.”
~Ira Glass

Clearly, I’ve made no secret of the fact that I’m a huge General Hospital fan. I’ve been watching the show for twelve years now, and have seen too many storylines to count. Some tugged at the heartstrings. Some motivated. Some made happy tears trickle down my face and some made sad tears blur my vision. Some brought laughter. Some were history-making. Some worked their way inside my mind and heart, and then did the very same thing for viewers everywhere. Some inspired. Some changed my life. Some made me feel. And now, as the show celebrates its golden anniversary with the first Nurses’ Ball – Port Charles’ biggest fundraiser that combines singing, dancing, love, drama, and charity – in over a decade, I find myself falling in love all over again. Today’s episode was so good that I immediately wanted to re-watch it. The performances were adorable, entertaining, and compelling (Favorite of the day = Kelly Monaco’s character Sam lighting up the dance floor with Maks from Dancing with the Stars – I still maintain that she was robbed during last year’s all-star season and should have gone home with the mirrorball trophy!). But beyond the talent sparkling on stage, there was also a fairy-tale unfolding behind-the-scenes. For months now, we’ve been seeing the love story between Patrick and Sabrina slowly come to fruition. Word by word, page by page, chapter by chapter, we’ve gotten a glimpse into Sabrina’s world as she fell head-over-heels for the handsome, kind-hearted doctor. When she confessed her feelings, only to learn that he’d never thought of her the same way? When her declaration made him realize that he’d missed what was right in front of him? And today, when they finally got their living-on-cloud-nine, give-you-butterflies moment? When Sabrina finally got her guy? I probably looked like the goofiest person ever, sitting there with my smile stretching from ear-to-ear. You’d think they’re my personal friends, I’m so happy for them. Obviously these characters aren’t real, and because this is a soap opera, it’s more likely than not that something (or someone) will rain on their parade, but for now, I don’t care. Sabrina is very much an “every girl.” We can relate to her. We know what it feels like to put our hearts on the line – sometimes internally, sometimes externally – and to see it pay off, to see her giddy sense of joy and elation, it made me giddy, too. Life is not a daytime drama. Life is not a fairy-tale. But stories like this give me hope.

Then there’s my WIP. I’m (approximately) forty-percent through the first draft right now, and the scene I wrote today is one I’ve been anticipating since the beginning. It was Charlotte’s big confession, her time to finally come clean about something major she’d been hiding. Excited as I was to write it, I was also nervous. That usually happens to me with these turning-point scenes. I just want them to carry the proper emotional weight, you know? To play out on the page like they do in my head. To do justice to the characters and their feelings. And so I sat for awhile before writing, just imagining what was to come. I felt the way Charlotte’s mouth would go sandpaper-dry, saw the way her fiance paced back and forth across their tiny apartment, heard her tearful explanations, smelled the wildflowers that tumbled from their pitcher as the door slammed and knocked it over. And then I wrote. And wrote. And wrote some more. Of course the scene will go through edits when I get to that part of the process, but I’m satisfied with it. More than that, better than that, I’m happy with it. From day one, this book has been a very different experience for me. It’s tough to put into words, really, other than to say it’s reminded me how joyful writing can be. Charlotte and Nolan may not be in as good of a place as Patrick and Sabrina right now – and as for my other main character, Remi, she’d currently laugh in the face of anyone who told her that fairy-tales can blossom in reality – but their story makes me just as giddy. Remi’s story makes me just as giddy. Charlotte and Remi’s story – because, although they’re separated by fifty-six years, this book is, at its heart, about the bonds they share – makes me giddy. It gives me hope.

I’m not really sure where I’m going with this post. I just felt compelled to share it after today’s storytelling experiences. One was as a writer, the other as a viewer, and both reminded me of the beauty in creativity. How wonderful it is to fall in love with fiction, to get lost in its embrace and inspired by its journey. How wonderful to find characters we can relate to and tales that inspire us. How wonderful it is, and how lucky we are, to experience this blessing every day, to live it with our full hearts and souls. And who knows? Maybe by finding joy in these fictional stories, we’ll be writing a part of our own, too.

Happy 50th, General Hospital!

“Daytime has been successful all these years because it caters to a very real need in the audience – to see something that’s not nighttime fantasy. People watch daytime because it’s like their lives.”
~Erika Slezak

Happy 50th Anniversary, General Hospital! Thank you for the smiles, the laughter, the sunshine, the tears, the joy, the storylines that inspire and touch, the special and talented actors who make their fans feel like friends, and the truly amazing group of people I’ve met thanks to the show. Cannot imagine my life without them, and I owe it all to GH. I am so proud to be a fan of this tugs-at-your-heartstrings daytime drama and the incredible cast who breathes life and soul into their characters every day. Here’s to another fifty years of magic, stories, and memories!

Cherry Blossom Festival.

“Break open a cherry tree and there are no flowers, but the spring breeze brings forth myriad blossoms.”
~Ikkyu Sojun

My weekend in five words:

1. Exhilarating (Washington D.C. is such a playground of patriotism, a perfect juxtaposition of our country’s storied history versus its history-in-the-making.).

2. Frustrating (Thanks to the coldest March weather in years, the Peak Bloom Period was pushed back by over a week, meaning there were no actual blossoms on the thousands of trees surrounding the Tidal Basin.).

3. Exhausting (Walking for over ten miles + being on your feet for seven hours straight on Saturday and eight hours on Sunday = not wanting to do anything but sit on Monday.).

4. Inspiring (I have wanted to go to the Cherry Blossom Festival for years, but writing about it in MINE TO LOVE – and incorporating it into a very important, freeing, turning-point scene for Sofie, Brandon, and Ellie – magnified that tenfold. Lack of blossoms aside, it was so very awesome to see the place where my characters finally started to heal.).

5. Invigorating (What’s better than visiting a fabulous place with fabulous people to share in the experience? Not much.).

Over the course of twenty-eight hours, we visited the Washington Monument, Lincoln Memorial, MLK Memorial, FDR Memorial, Jefferson Memorial, Tidal Basin, Union Station, Capitol Building, Museum of Natural History, Museum of American History, and the White House (well, sort of for the last one – we got as close as possible and snapped a couple photos). It was a whirlwind weekend, a lovely one. There may not have been many umbrellas of velvety pink petals, but we still soaked up the springtime spirit and the sense of hope that’s almost palpable in our nation’s capital.

Believe it or not, this is only a fraction of the pictures I took. Can’t wait to see how many memory cards I fill next year, because we are now determined to go back when the thousands of trees are actually in bloom. Looking forward to it already!

Tuesday’s Tunes: in my characters’ eyes.

“All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I’ve been
And how I got to where I am.”
~Sara Ramirez, “The Story”

Those of you who follow me on twitter may have seen a giddy post last week about inadvertently stumbling upon the most perfect song for one of my characters. I’m not kidding … it’s like the lyrics were written specifically for Charlotte. I was taking a walk when the song came up on my iPod, and I literally just stopped there, right in the middle of the sidewalk, to listen. It was an awesome few minutes. As the melody swirled in my ears, I could imagine different scenes from Charlotte’s life playing out with each verse, each chorus, each note. Hands down, it’s in my Top Ten of coolest moments I’ve ever experienced as a writer. And so, of course, I have to share that song with you:

And for the other of my new main characters, Remi:

I don’t listen to music while I write – silence is golden when it comes to getting into my characters’ minds – but I often play a song for inspiration before or after. You better believe that these two will be heading up the playlist for my WIP. Love, love, love.

Plus and Minus.

“The desire to write grows with writing.”
~Desiderius Erasmuss

+ : We’ve had not one, not two, but three days of beautiful spring-like weather. After winter’s frigid digits, it has been both energizing and inspiring to feel the warm sunlight again. I don’t even care that temperatures are taking a plunge again for the rest of this week (okay … that’s a lie … I care at least a little …). Mother Nature gave us just enough of a spring fling to be satisfactory. I can wait a couple more weeks for it to be an everyday occurrence. In the meantime, I spent my weekend walking through the quaint Peddler’s Village, along the boardwalk in Point Pleasant, NJ, and around the block at home.

- : The aforementioned boardwalk was cut much shorter than normal, still splintered from the effects of Hurricane Sandy last year. This was the first time I’d been to the shore since the storm set its eye on New Jersey, and to see the barricades, the boarded-up homes and businesses, the sand still in the streets, and the boardwalk blocked off in many spots … it was just very, very sad. I know the shore will rebuild its way into being better than ever, but until then, it hurts to see such a special place still rocked by waves that have long since retreated.

+ : Falling more and more in love with your WIP with each day you sit down to write is, truly, the best feeling ever. It’s always a good thing when you wake up on Monday morning, on every morning, eager to get back to work. Everything about this project has been joy-filled so far. In the midst of querying, it reminds me exactly why I write, exactly why I continue to pursue this, exactly why I can’t ever give up. I’ve written just over 23,000 words so far and am so legitimately excited about telling the rest of this story that I wish I could just glue myself to the desk chair and focus on nothing else. Other responsibilities, who needs ‘em?

- : Those other responsibilities beg to differ, as do my bleary eyes and needs-to-be-cracked-frequently neck. Oops?

+ : You should be really jealous of how I spent my Sunday morning this week, because it involves two of General Hospital’s sweetest, kindest, and funniest actors. Jason and Dominic were both gracious and genuine. They’re so down-to-earth and friendly, even coming over to suggest pictures to snap (true story: Jason only wanted me to take candid photos of my sister meeting Dominic!). My favorite moment? Telling them about Mine to Love – because GH recently had an adoption storyline, as well – and Jason calling after me as I was walking away, “Good Luck with your book!” So nice. Also … not the worst people to be between for a picture, huh? :)

- : Yeah, there isn’t really a corresponding ‘minus’ for this one, so instead I’ll just post some more pictures. Ha.

Give me a plus or minus from your weekend/day/week!