“We write every day, we fight every day, we think and scheme and dream a little dream every day. Manuscripts pile up in the kitchen sink, run-on sentences dangle around our necks. We plant purple prose in our gardens and snip the adverbs only to thread them in our hair. We write with no guarantees, no certainties, no promises of what might come and we do it anyway. This is who we are.”
~Tahereh Mafi

Ever since starting my new novel on Tuesday, my thought process has bounced back and forth between “writing-is-the-best-thing-ever-how-have-I-gone-without-it-for-six-months-!!!” and “wow, there is so much to figure out with this new story now that I’m putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) … where to begin?” Those two ideas may seem independent of each other, but as I’ve learned over the past several years, nothing with writing is ever an island. Everything’s connected in some way. In this case? The adrenaline-filled, giddy passion that comes from beginning a new manuscript actually makes me determined to be even more organized, even more thorough, even more resolute. In terms of planning and plotting ahead of time, I’ve always fallen somewhere in the middle: I do character sketches and draw up a loose outline, complete with main messages and a sense of beginning-middle-end, but I very much believe in letting the characters lead the way once the story unfolds. It’s amazing how they know their journey better than anyone – including me! – and can whirl it in entirely new directions.

That said, there are two areas that I try to hold control over, and I’m curious if it’s the same for anyone else.

Research: This has been necessary to varying degrees in my different novels – sometimes it’s enough to draw on my own experiences with people and places, sometimes there are specific terms and processes to educate myself on, sometimes I have to trust that even though I haven’t lived through the same situations as my characters, being able to relate to them on an emotional level is just as important. And sometimes, like with my current manuscript, it’s a combination of everything. This book has required more research than any of my previous ones: pregnancy progression, adoption rules and regulations, the speech patterns and development of a three-year-old, and so much more. I devoted two weeks to research before diving in, and even though my hands were itching to type, type, type, it was still a really awesome way to learn so much about so many things. Want to know what happens in the eighth week of pregnancy? I’m your gal. Want to know what happens in a home visit for prospective adoptive couples? I have three pages of notes that can fill you in. Want to know how many words are in a three-year-old’s vocabulary? A four-year-old’s? Take a guess and then I’ll tell you what the experts say. Even with all the research though, only five days into writing the new book, I am sure of this: it is not the same for everyone. Just like real people (that feels strange to say, because after spending a year and a half with these characters, they seem so real to me), our characters are unique. Statistics, benchmarks, and data are a guideline that help shape their experiences, but more than that, they shape them. Pregnancy is not just about how the baby grows physically – it’s also about how the mother grows emotionally. Adoption is not just about which forms have to be filed – it’s also about choosing your family and being the missing piece to each other’s puzzle. Three-year-olds are not just about developmental milestones – they’re also about playing make-believe, kissing away their mamas’ tears, building a castle out of Play-Doh, and accidentally ruining a two-hundred-dollar collector doll by helping her swim in the bathtub. Research is important, but it’s what our characters do with the research that matters most.

Schedule: This is more my curiosity than anything else, but fellow writers, I’m wondering what your work schedule is like. With my first manuscript, I’d work for four days straight, then take a day off to plot the next few chapters, then jump back into writing. With my second manuscript, I literally wrote every single morning that it was humanly possible. That book was the best and most magical writing experience I’ve ever had, and it was seriously an effort to pry myself away from the computer. In the two months it took me to do the first draft, I skipped writing only two days – when we left for our shore vacation and when we came home. Even while we were at the beach, I woke up with the sun to squeeze in writing time while everyone was asleep. With my third manuscript, I worked Monday – Friday and gave myself the weekends to plan, send out queries for the previous book, and (occasionally) take a break. Now, with the fourth manuscript, I find myself using a different approach yet again. It generally takes me two days to write a chapter (sidenote: it was so strange at first, going back to regular chapter format after writing the previous book completely in diary-style), so the plan is to write for six days, take two days off for planning, lots of querying, and time to (maybe) relax, and then leap back in again. It’s funny – and really interesting – to me to consider how different the scheduling has gone for each story. It’s fitting, though, I think, because the writing process is never the same. Each manuscript is special in its own way; each spins its own web. I learn so much from each one and I’m glad that they’ve all taught me different things. It’s exciting and invigorating.

Perhaps this quote by Walter Benjamin best sums it up: “Work on a good piece of writing proceeds on three levels: a musical one, where it is composed; an architectural one, where it is constructed; and finally, a textile one, where it is woven.”

Here’s to striking resonant chords, building sturdy foundations, and weaving beautiful tapestries.

GUESS WHO WROTE THE FIRST CHAPTER OF HER NEW BOOK THIS MORNING?

If your answer involves someone who is so seriously overjoyed about this new beginning that she feels the need to shout about it in all capital letters, then you’d be correct. I am so, so, sooooo excited, y’all. After spending the better part of the past two weeks researching, brainstorming, and plotting out plans for the new manuscript – which will be the third and (likely) final story about Sofie’s journey – today was finally the day I’ve been looking forward to for forever. Okay, actually it’s been more like six months, but when writing is akin to a heartbeat for you, half a year feels so very much longer.

So sitting down at the computer this morning? Skimming the last pages of this manuscript’s prequel, shuffling through my writing journal, mulling over the (tentative) ending I decided on for the new book yesterday? It made me want to dance a jig. And opening up a new Word document, staring at the blank page and letting myself be inspired by all the possibilities that can fill it? It may or may not have made me actually clap in glee. After almost a year and a half with these characters – spanning two novels, over six hundred pages, and countless moments in their lives – they have become like friends to me. They’ve become, in a way, my family. I am so excited to go along on this next journey of theirs, to be part of their ups and downs, their setbacks and successes, their tears and triumphs. It honestly fills me up in a way words cannot describe.

This is why I write. Sure, it will always be my dream and my active goal to have my books published, and to that end, I’m still on the query trail and still adding to my agent database all the time. But when it comes down to it, this is why I fell in love with the craft. It’s feeling so energized, so invigorated, that you jump out of bed while the morning air is still quiet, unable to wait even a few minutes longer to dive back into your characters’ world. It’s feeling pride in your heart as you watch them grow. It’s feeling that constant pull towards them, even when you’re technically not supposed to be working anymore. It’s feeling so lucky because that work … well, it’s not really work at all. It’s a work of heart. It’s magic.

Will the love affair ever fade as the days and weeks go by? Will the whimsy I’m swept up in now spin in a different direction? I think it’s impossible to feel that unadulterated joy all the time – writing is a challenging craft for everyone, and that’s a good thing, because it keeps us pushing ourselves further, higher, deeper. Sure, there’ll be days when the words don’t flow easily. There’ll be roadblocks that seem to throw the story off-course and questions along the way. Mine for today: which format should the new manuscript take? My first two were written in first-person, present tense. My third was written in a combination of first and second person, past tense (aka: diary style). And while the game plan for the new novel was to return to present tense, I found myself slipping back into past as I was writing this morning. It may be force of habit or maybe something is telling me that this is the way the story should be told. I’m still not certain, but I’m excited to see what happens. Fellow writers: do you have a format preference?

Going back to that love affair – yes, the light will dim every now and then. That’s only natural. But more often that not – and, as was the case with the first two books in Sofie’s story – that glimmer will be there, shimmering with a bold, bright glow. For me, that’s what writing is. It’s filling those blank pages with part of my heart and soul, and, more importantly, parts of my characters’ hearts and souls. And to know I get to do that all over again now? To have this new beginning that’s so full of hope?

No wonder I feel like dancing.

Warning: this post will contain excessive excitement, enthusiasm, elation, and, yes, exclamation points. Because Sunday? It was the BEST. DAY. EVER.

We headed down to Atlantic City around noon and then proceeded to stalk (erm … visit) the Taj Mahal box office for our Meet & Greet passes. First we were told they’d be there at 3:30, then 5:00, then 5:30, then … well, you get the picture. They weren’t brought down until nearly 6:00, but that’s okay because while we were waiting, we got to listen to Kelly’s soundcheck. The doors were closed, but it was still really awesome to hear her and the band practicing – especially because one of the songs was a new addition to the setlist and something we hadn’t heard her perform live before! The passes arrived shortly thereafter, and to say we were thrilled is probably the understatement of the year. Decade. Century. How did we show that? By taking a zillion pictures with our passes, of course.

Our instructions told us to meet by stage right at 7:30 – when the opening act started – but we got there fifteen minutes early, just in case, and were met by the head of Kelly’s security, who checked our passes and separated us according to group. I love that they save the fanclub meet and greet for last because it means you get more time with Kelly. They took us backstage (literally behind the stage – we saw the dressing rooms, catering, band area – SO NEAT!) and Kelly’s security head explained how things would go. Everyone with RCA passes would see Kelly first, then the radio winners, and then us … which meant lots of nervous and excited chatter as we (im)patiently waited our turn. It’s funny: we’ve known for a week – some of us longer – that we had the passes, so you’d think that would be enough time to process it, but standing backstage was still so surreal. It’s like we were floating in a bubble of happiness and the air around us was just fizzing with energy and adrenaline.

I was the first of our group of six to talk with Kelly. I made myself a notecard again, complete with a reminder to actually tell her my name this time (go on and laugh!), but I was (slightly) calmer than the first time four and a half years ago so I decided not to use it … and then forgot to say my name AGAIN. Oops? That’s alright, because I said everything else I wanted to. Before I even got over to her – as soon as she was finished with the person in front of me, actually – she smiled and called over, “Ooh, I love your sweater!” That almost made us all crack up, because I seriously made myself nuts trying to find the perfect outfit. I went to four different stores, had five different possibilities, and didn’t decide until about an hour before we left. Boy, am I super glad I chose that one!! :) I thanked her, she hugged me, and as she pulled back I was instantly struck by how intense and expressive her eyes are. I remember that from before, too – she holds your gaze the entire time you’re talking with her and you can just tell she truly, genuinely cares. She doesn’t do the M&Gs because she has to; she does them because she wants to, honestly and sincerely. The first thing I told her was that I’m a writer and how I build a soundtrack/playlist (though I’m almost certain I got flustered with her two inches away and called it a setlist, but whatever – she knew what I meant) for each book, and that for the one I’m starting now, the main song on that list is her new one, “Stronger.” As soon as she heard about me being a writer, she said “Oh my God, that’s so cool!” and she broke into this huge smile when I mentioned her song being the inspiration for my characters and their upcoming journey. She said that it’s one of her favorite songs and totally empowering to sing – and I know there was something else she said, too, but it is SUCH a blur when you’re up there with her that I cannot for the life of me remember what it is.

The other important thing I wanted to tell her … well, it was more of a thank you than anything, for her song “The Sun Will Rise.” I told her that it was one of the only things that brought true comfort and peace to me after our family went through such a horrible time last year. I swear, I’ll never, ever, ever forget the look on her face – and in her eyes – when I told her what happened with Gram. There was such empathy there as she said she was so sorry, and Mary Kate said she looked really touched by what I’d said. How many celebrities do you find who so fervently and compassionately care about their fans like that? It was just very, very sweet and very, very special. She told me that they were going to sing TSWR that night, but had replaced it with a different one for the acoustic set. We took our picture next – I asked for a hugging one, she said “sure!” and grabbed me – and before it was time to leave, she called out this loud “good luck with your writing!” SO UNBELIEVABLY COOL and something I’ll remember always. And our picture? It is definitely getting framed and hung up immediately!!!!

Marissa was next to meet her, then Sara, Mary Kate, Julie, and Daniel. It was so wonderful to watch them all with her, especially everyone who was meeting her for the first time and having their dream come true. The joy was truly palpable and there are no words to express how elated I am for them that they finally got to have this experience. Seeing them with Kelly made my heart so happy. Seeing all my fabulous friends with her did.

I think the best way I can describe meeting and talking to her is that it feels like a bear hug. Like Mary Kate was saying yesterday – when you’re with her, she makes you feel like you’re the only person she cares about at that time. It’s a really special, genuine quality – and she is so humble and down-to-earth. Marissa, Sara, and Mary Kate talked to her about dancing, teaching, and delivering babies, and her response was “Man … writers, teachers, dancers, nurses … y’all are talented! All I do is sing!” She meant it, too. She’s just so gracious and personable, always treating her fans like friends. And, honestly, I believe that’s how she views everyone. The gratitude and appreciation goes both ways, and that sets her apart from so many others.

As soon as we got back to the arena, we shared a group hug and bounced around in excitement. To be blessed enough to share the M&G experience together was and will forever be such a gift. And the concert! It was FABULOUS, a celebration of her ten-year career (looking forward to the next ten!) that included lots of songs from every album. She even did a song in the audience right from the row behind us! She is so personable and spunky – stopping to chat with people in the audience and teasing the spotlight guy who couldn’t seem to find her for half the show – and she seriously has SO much energy, it’s crazy. I can’t get over how she can sing while twirling, spinning, jumping, and bouncing everywhere. As for us … we danced/jumped/sang so much that we left the casino barely able to walk or speak. Oops? Such a truly fantastic time, though, and I loved getting to experience it together with my family and friends. It made it so very special.

This week’s Tuesday’s Tunes? Concert videos, of course!

“I Forgive You”:

“The War Is Over”:

It’s no secret that Kelly’s been a gigantic inspiration to me for years, and I will be forever grateful for having the opportunity to talk with her again. She’s such a special person, one who truly makes the world better for being in it, and there really are no words for how very much Sunday meant. To be able to thank her for her music, to explain what a chord it strikes, how deep an impact it has, and how strongly it helps give us faith when we need it the most … and to see her reaction to my writing … and just to have a conversation with each other, to be reminded yet again of how graciously and whole-heartedly she cares about her fans, it was truly a treasure to cherish. It was a ray of sunshine, a cloud nine to settle on, and a starburst of hope. It resounded. It resonated. Kelly’s heart is as big as her talent, and we are the luckiest ever to have gotten to experience it again. Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like that.

When your week begins like this, it’s not exactly a ringing endorsement for how the next seven days will play out. Luckily, a trip to the Apple store + the return of my multi-colored planning pens + some really exciting news has done more than enough to balance out the computer troubles. So, you may ask, why does this week rock?

Reason #1: Seeing the MacBook Pro in person and getting to explore its features? Made me want to buy one instantly. Despite the insanity of the Apple store (wow, do they need a space that’s double the size), the employees were all so friendly and helpful, and beyond that, the computers are just … awesome. If only I were a millionaire, I’d have snapped one up in a nanosecond. But since that’s not the case, I’m now weighing the OMGIWANTTHISLAPTOP voice in my head with the one that reminds me how much more affordable and reasonable a PC would be. Only … we can’t be reasonable all the time, right?

Reason #2: Who has a Meet & Greet pass for Kelly Clarkson’s concert this Sunday? ME!! I’m so excited I can’t stand it, so I can only imagine how giddy this weekend will be. And even better – my sister and friends have passes, too. To say I’m thrilled for them to meet Kelly for the first time is an understatement. Sharing the news with everyone yesterday was such fun. Is there anything better in this world than being able to make other people happy? I think not. I truly cannot wait to share this experience with them, and of course to talk with Kelly again. She has been such an inspiration over the years and I’m already planning what all I want to tell her this time. Here’s hoping I don’t ramble on for so long that she has to interrupt to ask my name like she did back in 2007. Ha. Really, though, when Kelly Clarkson is the one you’re embarrassing yourself in front of, it’s all good. All great. All SO FANTASTIC THAT YOU WANT TO JUMP UP AND DOWN!! Is it Sunday yet?!

Reason #3: Most people dislike Monday mornings. This week, I was looking forward to it more than words can express. Why, you may ask? Because I FINALLY got to start working on my new novel! Okay, okay, it’s only been six months since I finished writing the first draft of the previous one, but when writing fills you up like nothing else can, six months feels like an eternity. For as awesome a process as editing turned out to be, nothing – nothing – can compare to the adrenaline and hope of beginning a new manuscript. It’s like a new journey just waiting to unfold. A new adventure just waiting to envelop you in its grasp. A new baby just waiting to be born. Sitting down at my desk, swirling out my multi-colored pens like a rainbow of inspiration, it made this pure, innate joy swell inside. Getting started on character sketches, loose outlines, and research? I know it’s work – and challenging work at that – but my goodness, it feels like such a ray of light. There’s so much faith, so much belief, so much love at this stage of the game. And yes, the characters may be like old friends to me by this point, but their story is constantly spinning and creating new threads in their tapestry. So excited to see what they weave.

How has your week been going? Tell me one reason why it rocks!

Lesson Learned: do not write about your work plans (aka: do not squeal about starting a new manuscript), because the Technology Gods will swoop in, put a spell on your laptop, and leave you concerned that it just might disappear into a poof of foggy smoke forever. You will then begin an immediate OMG-is-everything-transferred panic that includes emailing yourself important documents and sending each file to an external hard drive yet again, even though you know full well that at least three quarters of them have already been copied. Not that I’d know this from personal experience or anything … she says as she watches hundreds of picture files slooooooooowly transfer over.

Seriously, though, UGH. My laptop is four years old and it’s been having daily temper tantrums lately, so this was not unexpected, but still. Internet issues have been somewhat tolerable. Unplugging the computer for five minutes and having the battery drain completely, then refuse to recharge? Having antivirus software refuse to function properly? Not so much. I’ve been researching new computer options for the past week – something told me this was coming, even though I hoped it’d wait at least another couple months – and it looks like Decision Time is on the horizon. Luckily, there’s an Apple store only forty-five minutes away, so I can head over tomorrow and spend some time experimenting with a Mac in person. PCs have always been the name of the game, but we used Macs for video editing in college and I absolutely loved them. For this, though, my mind seems to keep bouncing back and forth. A new laptop is such a commitment for a writer (yes, I know how ridiculously dramatic that sounds, but it’s true – this one has become somewhat of an appendage over the years), and I just want to make the right choice.

Those of you who have so kindly given me tips, suggestions, and information – thank you, thank you (and don’t be surprised if I bombard you with even more questions at some point soon)!

Anyway, all this to say that I’d planned to do a post today about the goodreads 2012 book challenge, but instead I will apparently be spending my time chained to the laptop and ensuring that everything – everything! – is duplicated. Okay, who am I kidding? Paranoid Me will probably ensure that each file is saved in at least three different places. Maybe four. Or five. I can’t help it, though. When your novels are your babies, your computer becomes, in a way, your lifeline. Better safe than sorry, right? Even if it means not being able to start reading the second book in my fifty-two book challenge. Even if it means having to take a couple days off from querying agents. Even if it means not getting to anything else I’d hoped to spend this weekend accomplishing.

But beginning work on the new manuscript tomorrow? Somehow, someway, it is happening. The colored pens are coming out, the writing journal is offering up its blank pages, and the next journey in Sofie’s life is starting to be mapped out. I just may have to take up temporary residence at the library, that’s all.

Do you have any computer horror stories to share? And – anyone else want to weigh in on the Mac vs. PC debate?

I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve always found January, especially the first few shiny and new days, to be innately rejuvenating. Reinvigorating. Refreshing. There’s something very inspiring about the chance to have a clean slate all over again. It’s sort of like a new manuscript – the pages are blank, just waiting for us to fill them with our discoveries, our journeys, our stories.

It probably comes as no surprise that my plans for 2012 involve linking my own story to those of my characters. Though, if I’m being honest, those tales are already connected. The ties are written in an indelible kind of ink that has less to do with printing and more to do with feeling, with understanding, with relating. That makes each day I sit down to work a new adventure, and let me tell you, I couldn’t WAIT to get started today. I’ve spent the last week updating my lit agent database, and even though there’s still a long way to go and many more names to add – how many colors do you think my spreadsheet will be filled with by the time it’s finished? – now that agencies are reopening for 2012, this morning was the start of Querying Week. You’d think the roller-coaster that is querying would have taken its toll by now, and to be sure, there are certainly times when it has, but when I sat down at my desk today, it didn’t feel that way. Somehow, even after querying ROM all of last year, it still felt just as hopeful, just as filled with possibility, as the morning I sent off the first letters to the first agents.

Fellow writers must be laughing at me right about now.

You’re excited to be querying again?

Well … yes. I am. Because even with its emotional challenges, even with its put-your-heart-on-the-line vibe, querying is what it takes to share your baby with the world. It’s given me some really great and memorable experiences in 2011 and I’m optimistic that the same will be true this year. We can’t predict the future, of course, but I am wishing and praying so, so much that 2012 will finally be the year I – and ROM & its sequel(s) – can take the next step on this journey. So, along those lines, the song for Tuesday’s Tunes today is one filled with positivity and encouragement.

“Play On” – Carrie Underwood: This is the title track from Carrie’s third album and also the one she named two tours for back in 2010. It’s uplifting, it’s imaginative, it’s a song that reminds us obstacles are only challenges to overcome. If we believe in something, if we hold a dream, then we have to keep pursuing that shooting star until it becomes reality. We have to play on.

This week, I’m doing that by sending ROM into the world all over again. Next week? I FINALLY get to begin formal brainstorming and planning for the new novel, and I’m so excited you’ll all probably hear me squeeing in joy. There are so many blank pages to 2012 and I can’t wait to fill them with good, wonderful, lovely things. I am going to make SURE this year is better than last. I am going to play on and on … and on some more.

How about you? What song is motivating you this New Year?

Usually when it comes time to write an end-of-year post, I begin with something like “How have the months flown by this quickly?” or “It seems like it was just January, yet here we are in December.” This year? Not so much. 2011 has been very long, very difficult, and very emotional. If it was at all possible, I’d choose to erase about three-quarters of it from my memory. But, of course, that’s not actually possible at all, which means every moment that I’d give anything to forget will always be a part of me. I guess that’s how it’s supposed to be. We are amalgamations of our experiences, good and bad alike.

And, as this year has shown me, even among the terrible, the tragic, the break-your-heart-into-pieces, there is always a ray of light to be found. For me, that’s all of you. There are no words to describe the endless gratitude I will always have for the kind comments, the unwavering support, and the beautiful friendship you’ve offered. You all have been the stars that illuminated a very dark sky, and I am thankful each and every day for that – and, even more, for you. There is no doubt about it: I don’t know how I’d have gotten through this year without the amazingly special people in my life. Losing Gram was like losing a part of my heart, and that combined with the highly-emotional querying rollercoaster and some other difficult situations – well, suffice it to say that I truly cannot wait to close the door on 2011 and walk through the one that leads to 2012. My greatest wish for you all? That you run through it, too, leaping forward with hope, faith, and inspiration.

Speaking of inspiration, this year hasn’t been entirely difficult. It certainly had wonderful moments, too. There was writing Dear Ellie and editing it down to almost half its original length, a Herculean task that originally seemed insurmountable. There were visits to New York to see very special people who make the world a better place. There were times spent with friends and vacations with family. There were good books, good movies, and good music. Every one of those things, each one of those people, has been a blessing, and perhaps being set against such a difficult-to-comprehend backdrop makes those blessings shimmer even more brightly.

2012? It has to be better than 2011. I’ve written before that I’m not usually about broad, sweeping resolutions when the calender flips and we enter a New Year. I’d rather make every day the best it can be. That still holds true, but it’s always good to set some goals, too. So, in 2012, I hope to – and will work toward – achieving these starbursts of faith:

*Continue querying literary agents for Reflections of Me, using my newly-updated database and working each day to find someone who believes in my books enough to offer representation.

*Write two new manuscripts – the third (and final) journey in Sofie’s story and another based off one of the ideas on my ever-growing list.

*Read fifty-two books, ideally one each week.

*Travel somewhere I’ve never been before (would especially love to see Nantucket!) and go back to some of the cities I love so much, like Atlanta and Nashville.

*Enjoy life. Embrace every moment, find joy in something each day, even if something small, and believe that things can, and do, get better.

My hope for us all is that 2012 will be a year where dreams come true. Where passions are discovered, journeys are taken, and goals are reached. Where love and light fill each day. Where ordinary moments are extraordinary. Where we find blessings we’d never imagined. Where every memory is a gift. Where, instead of waiting for luck to find us, we make it for ourselves. And, most importantly, where good health prevails for everyone, because, as my mom always says, if the New Year is healthy, it’ll be happy.

Wishing you all the very, very best. Here’s to a future that glimmers with hope. Happy, Healthy New Year, everyone. Much love to you all ♥

Boy oh boy, what a week it’s been. That sinus-infection-turned-bronchitis? It decided to morph into a bad ear infection, too. Sometimes it felt like ocean waves were tumbling through my head. Sometimes it felt like bells were ringing nonstop. All of the time, it was incredibly frustrating. Who wants to be sick for over three weeks during the holidays? The good news is that the ear infection was enough to finally get me an antibiotic last Thursday, and even though I’m still not a hundred percent yet, I at least feel like a normal human being again. After spending most of December coughing (and coughing … and coughing), I will definitely take that.

The doctor made me promise to get lots of rest – which I did, because it’s obviously important when you’re sick – but it was challenging this week, what with the holiday and all. Hanukkah is officially over today – yesterday was the last night – and though it was indescribably difficult to get through the celebrations without Gram, I’m still sad to see the holiday go. There’s just something so special about it, something so full of light and love. And yes, there was a heart-shaped hole this year, but as Kristan so optimistically reminded me, it was important to fill it up with heart-shaped happiness, because that’s what Gram would have wanted. Did I get teary-eyed looking at her place on the sofa during our family party? And again when we lit her special candle that she so loved? And again when I put on the necklace she bought me for Hanukkah a few years ago? Yes, yes, and yes. Losing her meant gaining a void that will never close. I’ve been making a point this week to look at her picture even more, to not only remember the beautiful memories but immerse myself in them. It helps, and I like to believe she’s smiling down on us, remembering those special times, too.

It also helps to keep busy – and between holiday celebrations with family and friends, getting lost in a great book (seriously, you can blame my lack of posting on this novel, because anytime there’s a spare minute, I’m cracking open the cover to see what happens next), and reworking/updating my lit agent database, busy has definitely been the name of the game. It’s been GoGoGo, but with time-outs to Rest, Rest, Rest along the way. And really, isn’t that what the holiday season should be? It’s about surrounding yourself with family – both given and chosen – and making new memories that’ll last a lifetime.

From Christmukkah/Friendship Day celebrations with friends …

… to setting up all the Hanukkah gifts …

… to lighting the menorah and Gram’s candle …

It was definitely a meaningful holiday. I hope all of yours were just as lovely. As I jump into writing new queries to send off to agents next week (and then – finally! – starting work on the new novel), memories of this not-as-planned break will float through my mind. What holiday memories will you smile about as you get back to work?

Tonight marks the beginning of my absolute favorite holiday, Hanukkah. All year long, I look forward to these eight days and eight nights of light, laughter, and love. There’s something uniquely special about this holiday. Reciting the blessings as a family, lighting the candles and watching as their sparks grow into flames, seeing everyone’s reactions as they open gifts, playing dreidel by the glow of a menorah’s candlelight … it’s the personification of warmth. To me, that’s what Hanukkah is truly about. It’s remembering the miracle of all those years ago – the oil that lasted for eight days and kept the synagogue’s eternal light aglow until more could be brought – and believing in the hope, the faith, the blessings of today. It’s drawing inspiration from those flickering flames and lighting them in ourselves, too. All those years ago, the Maccabees refused to take “no” for an answer. They believed in their synagogue and dedicated themselves to its preservation. No challenge was insurmountable. No mountain was too high. And when the oil did last for an extra week, well, maybe that’s all the proof we need … sometimes miracles really can happen if we only believe in them enough.

So, in that spirit, I thought I’d do a holiday version of Tuesday’s Tunes this week. Whatever you celebrate, I wish you nothing but joy. May your holiday season sparkle with magic and be strung with chords of warmth and glitter.

“Candelight” – The Maccabeats: This may not be a traditional Hanukkah song, but it is SO GOOD. The Maccabeats have such pure voices, and the way they put this video together is beyond clever. No matter how many times I watch, it always makes me smile. Latkes, dreidels, menorahs, and wonderful music … how better to celebrate this lovely, twinkling Festival of Lights?

“All I Want For Christmas is You” – Mariah Carey: Yes, I’m Jewish, but I still love Christmas music! Mariah’s song will always be one of my favorites. There’s an infectious kind of happiness in it, one that makes you want to tap your foot, bop your head, and sing along. It’s a feel-good song, a reminder that the holiday season is a time to let loose, let go, and let be.

“My Grown-Up Christmas List” – Kelly Clarkson: This may be a Christmas melody, but its message spans all religions and all people. It’s a reminder of what’s important in life, what wishes so many of our hearts hope for, what this world needs each and every day. There are many versions of this song, but to me, Kelly’s stands out. It’s whimsical, it’s magical, it’s beautiful. And isn’t that what the holidays are all about?

What are your favorite holiday tunes?

So … this was supposed to be a post about brainstorming my next novel. Or jumping back into queries for Reflections of Me. Or how surreal it still feels to be finished edits on Dear Ellie. But it’s not. It’s not any of those things, because even when your bronchitis calms a little and you feel human again, it also decides to continue hanging around and making you miserable, exasperated, and disgusted. My take two for the week? Only sorta worked. One outing a day is still about all I can manage without going into coughing spasms that make people stare and me want to dart from the store. That said: holiday shopping is (almost) officially finished, cards are being written, and gifts will be wrapped today. Everything else will still have to wait, though, because the balance of my time is being spent resting so this bronchitis will finally leave me alone (note to body: PLEASE? not sure how much more of this coughing I can take without losing my mind!).

Anyway, since I have nothing writing-related to talk about (grrrr), I thought I’d go with the next greatest thing: reading. With the end of the year quickly approaching, “best of” lists are starting to pop up. I did one for my favorite books in 2010 and wanted to continue the tradition this year. It was hard to narrow the wonderful choices down to only a few – each book had its own unique journey unfold through its pages – but there were some that stood out, stood above, stood forward in a way that will resonate for a long time to come.

My favorite reads of 2011 are…

Happy Ever After – Nora Roberts: My friend Mary Kate bought me the first book in Nora’s Bride Quartet series (A VISION IN WHITE) as part of my Hanukkah gift last year, and I fell in love with the concept right from the very first sentence of the prologue. Four childhood best friends, four girls who used to “play wedding” when they were little, four women who have created their own wedding planning business and work every day to make it flourish. They’re living out their dreams, following their passions, doing what we all wish we could: spin our hearts’ truest desires into a career, a journey, a way of life. And best of all? They’re doing it with each other, sharing the dream-come-true with their sisters by choice. Through the series, we learn all about Mac, Emma, Laurel, and, in this book, Parker. We see their strengths and witness their vulnerabilities. We see their fervent adoration for their work of heart – be it photography, floral design, cake catering, or overall wedding planning – and we also see their hearts twist and turn, bend and mold to let love in. These women become like friends, so relatable and true that you feel as though you’ve known them forever. You laugh with them, cry with them, and, in this book, are so genuinely thrilled to get a glimpse into their “happy ever after.” These novels? They make you believe that magic is real.

Skipping a Beat – Sarah Pekkanen: Sarah’s second novel is … resonant, that’s the best word I can find to describe it. Nearly ten months after reading it, I still find myself thinking about the story. I still find myself reflecting on the life Julia and Michael Dunhill had together, reflecting on the ways that life was rewritten after Michael went into cardiac arrest and his perspective shifted so drastically, and – what I’ve always found to be the sign of a very special book – reflecting on what may have happened to Julia beyond the pages. Michael’s epiphany taught them both how to live again, helped them see clearly what had become foggy, and brought vibrant color back into a world that had faded. It changed them both for the better – and, even though the ending brought tears to my eyes more than once, it was fitting. It was right. It was also open-ended enough that I am hoping, hoping, hoping Sarah will write a sequel. I want to see how Julia carries out her husband’s inspiring dreams. I want to see how she carries out her own. I want to know so much more about these characters, these relationships, these journeys that are waiting in the wings. Julia grew so much over the course of the novel and took readers down that path right along with her. She reminded us that life really can change in a heartbeat – and that can be a beautiful thing.

Water for Elephants – Sara Gruen: So many people recommended this book that I just had to read it. It’s not the kind of novel I normally pick up, but I was intrigued from the first page and literally could not put it down. In it, we’re introduced to Jacob Jankowski, a veterinary student who inadvertently joins a traveling circus. Jacob’s story is told through current reflection (as a ninety-some-old man) and flashbacks to his days with the Benzini Brothers Most Spectacular Show on Earth. We see his valor in protecting performer (and love) Marlena from her often violent husband, his heart in working with newly-acquired elephant Rosie to train and care for her, and his wisdom in sharing all the lessons he’s learned. We see him as a young man, as an old man, and as everything in between. We root for him, we root for Marlena, we root for Rosie as she becomes so much more than an elephant. She becomes real, becomes human-like. And when the story comes full-circle at the end, shedding a new light on what happens in the very beginning, we understand. We understand it all. The flashbacks make the present scenes even more poignant, and the ending? It is truly perfect.

The Bake-Off – Beth Kendrick: This one’s a bit tough for me to write about now, because the storyline with Amy and Linnie’s beloved Grammy hits a little too close to home. But what also hits close to home is the love, the bond, the beautiful connection the women share with their grandmother. So when she sets the estranged sisters up to participate in a baking contest together? Despite their misgivings, they agree. What initially seems a recipe for disaster becomes one of lessons learned and love repaired. The crack in the sisters’ relationship slowly begins to be pieced back together. And, although Amy and Linnie couldn’t be more different (Amy is a mom of toddler-aged twins and Linnie is a child prodigy who dropped out of college when the pressure became too much), they come together in important ways. They remind us that life does not follow a recipe. Mistakes are made, betrayals are irrevocable, and other people’s choices influence our own. But sometimes the most unlikely combination can mend ties, just like the most unlikely combination can bake an award-winning pie. We only have to be willing to try. And when we do? Life can change all over again.

The First Husband – Laura Dave: Annie Adams is many things – a writer, a traveler, and, after her long-time boyfriend drops a bombshell and leaves, she becomes something else – a wife to a new man she’s only known for three months. Griffin is a chef about to open his own restaurant, and when a chance meeting brings them together, the connection is instantaneous. It’s magnetic. It’s the kind fairytales are made of. When Annie moves clear across the country with Griffin, going from Los Angeles to a tiny town in Massachusetts? The fairytale fades a bit. As she struggles to adjust to this very different life, Annie questions everything, most of all who she is and who she’s become. Laura cleverly intersperses excerpts and advice from Annie’s travel column into the book – and through her views on what traveling is and what it represents, we gain insight into Annie’s personality, opinions, and her own life. She’s an endearing character. The whole cast is – Griffin, his brother and twin sons, even Griffin’s ex-girlfriend Gia. We believe in them all. We feel like we know them all. We want them to be happy, to believe in their own identities and then connect them to one another. And isn’t that what any great novel should achieve?

Desilu: The Story of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz – Coyne Steven Sanders and Tom Gilbert: Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a ginormous I Love Lucy fan. It’s the one show I can watch over and over (and over and over), never once getting tired of the episodes. So when I found out about this book, a comprehensive tell-all about Lucille and Desi – complete with quotes from their daughter and many of the show’s original cast, crew, and creators – I couldn’t wait to read. The real-life story paints a picture quite different than what we saw on the show, a story filled with intense love and laughter, but also loneliness and pain. There were parts that were sad to read, but others that were inspiring and uplifting. And fascinating. It was fascinating to read about Lucille and Desi – their lives, their marriage, their work and their company. They were true visionaries in the television industry and it’s amazing to see how very much they accomplished. And though their personal lives were rockier than Lucy and Ricky’s endearing marriage, it’s also obvious how much love was there. Lucille, Desi, Vivian, and William … we’ll always love them.

What are your favorite books of 2011?