“I’ve met some go-getters, some difference makers
Small town heroes and big chance takers
I’ve met some young hearts with something to prove
Here’s to you long shots, you dark horse runners
Hairbrush singers and dashboard drummers
Here’s to you wild magnolias just waiting to bloom
There’s a little bit of all that inside of me and you
Thank God even crazy dreams come true.”
~Carrie Underwood, “Crazy Dreams”
That tearful post I promised? Here we go.
I’m sitting here and attempting to figure out how to write an entry that even comes close to describing how bittersweet it was to finish my first draft today. Honestly, though, I really can’t find the words. I could say it feels surreal to think that for the first time in two months, I won’t be writing a new scene tomorrow morning. I could say that I cried several times when I was working on the final chapter. I could say that writing the last word of the last chapter today was beyond emotional. And all of those things would be true. But to summarize how it actually felt? Sometimes emotion transcends words.
Writing this has, without a doubt, been one of the best experiences of my life. You know how sometimes there’s just something that grabs you and refuses to let go? That’s what this story is for me. It’s so different from anything I’ve ever written before. Not one day while I was working on it did I want to take a break. Never once did I not feel that joy as I was writing. This story is absolutely my baby and nothing – NOTHING – will ever change that. It took my passion for writing and multipled it tenfold. It reminded me that I will never, ever stop until this is my career. It showed me in no uncertain times that writing is my true work of heart. It sounds cliche, but getting to go on this journey with my characters has been a privilege. Their choices, their mistakes, their challenges, their epiphanies, their joys … I feel like I’ve lived it all, too. Never before have I felt so connected to anyone or anything I’ve written. This story managed to wrap itself around my heart and never let go. And you know? I’ll be forever grateful.
I was saving these song lyrics for the day when (fingers crossed tight as can be!) an agent offers representation. After all, what could be more fitting, right? But then I was thinking … no matter what happens on the rest of the journey, writing this particular novel has already been a dream come true in so many ways. I’ve learned so much about myself as a writer, so much about myself as a person. I may not be a wild magnolia, but just working on this manuscript has made me bloom. It has been a joy in every possible way. There truly are no words to describe what it’s been like, other than to say it’s been the absolute time of my life.
And yes, it’s my not-so-crazy dream come true. Here’s to many more in the future. What about you? What crazy dreams are you making come true?