Better.

“A new year is like a blank book. The pen is in your hands. It is your chance to write a beautiful story for yourself.”
~Unknown

Show of hands: who thought I’d dropped off the face of the earth, or, at least, the blogging community? I certainly wouldn’t blame you if you did. I’ll be honest, the longer I went without posting, the tougher it seemed to get back into the swing of things. This space has always been an outlet, though, a place to celebrate the good and work through the bad, and so I don’t think I could ever leave it, not fully. I’d miss it, and all of you, too much. And so here I am again, after more than four months.

Most of you know that 2015 was a difficult, trying year for my family and me. Things were rough in many different ways, ways that left me feeling drained and defeated. In fact, if I had to sum up the year in one word, it would be: exhausting. Physically, mentally, and emotionally, it was just so very long and tiring. Much as I wanted to write in here, it often felt like there was nothing to say. I try, really try quite hard, to be an optimistic person, but sometimes life gets in the way, you know? Eventually it got to a point where I saw those roadblocks for what they were, and to rehash them in writing … truly, the thought seemed to zap the energy straight out of me.

Now that it’s 2016? I’m determined to embrace the fresh start, to do everything in my power to ensure that the pages of this year’s calendar are filled with much brighter colors than last year’s. Maybe that will happen, maybe it won’t. After all, flipping from December to January doesn’t actually change any of the words that wrote themselves in the past. My hope, though, is that I can add to those words now, to weave some hope and happiness back in. To that end, I’ve been thinking about what resolutions to make for this year, and I came up with … none. Deliberately, consciously, purposely, I’m making no concrete resolutions. I’ve found that, while they’re a wonderful motivator, they can also be the opposite when they don’t hold up, when you work tirelessly to make them a reality and it still doesn’t happen. Instead, I’m going to throw all my energy into doing what I can do make 2016 better than 2015. I am going to look for at least one bright spot in every day, even when the light seems dim. I’m going to keep on doing what it takes to get my book babies out there, even when the journey feels like climbing an endless mountain. I’m going to keep spending countless hours of time with my sweet and spunky Jasper Jellybean, even when it means sacrificing some of my to-do list (and some of my sleep). I’m going to work on accepting what I can’t control, even when those things seem so incredibly unfair. Mostly, though, I’m going to give this year everything I’ve got and pray that when it reciprocates, it will be with good things this time.

No resolutions, but those are my goals. My wishes. My must-haves.

How about you guys? What’s your must-have this year? And, again, thanks for sticking with me. Friends like you made a bad year better, and I’m so lucky to have your support. Wishing you all a happy, healthy 2016 – may it be filled with all the joy of a bunny’s binky and every one of your dreams come true!